THE THING IS #27

Parent fails. We’ve all had them. The funniest one I’ve seen was a lady that fake tanned her body and then breastfed her baby. The baby ended up with a fake tanned boob circle on his face.

I’ve had some shockers.

When my son was 2 years old, he hurt his arm whilst being taken care of by a relative. He seemed ok, but a week later we noticed he was favouring one arm. We took him to the doctors and left with his arm in a cast. Same thing happened to same child 3 years later. Twice he had an injury but we thought it was minor and it wasn’t… oops.

Or the time my husband messed up the time for our youngest child’s performance for his last day of Kindy. Not only did we miss the concert, but all the other kids left at midday and he was the only child left at 2.00pm when we turned up for the concert. That was a very sad day.

The thing is… we all have parent fails. If you aren’t failing, you aren’t trying hard enough right? Please tell me that statement rings true for parenting?!

I remember my parents failed quite a few times.

Picking us up from Gymnastics often meant hours of waiting due to miscommunication between them (and there were no mobile phones back then).

The home birthday cakes that no one would eat because they were as dry as cardboard.

The DIY haircuts to save money, that literally looked like your mum put a bowl on your head and thought “that will keep my scissor line straight” (this always ends up as a parent fail, don’t do it!).

The conversations you accidently have (or the adult activities) not thinking your kids are listening.

To the food left in the fridge that your children think is ok to consume… I ate 2-week-old chicken at my dad’s house once. Was hospitalised and couldn’t eat chicken for 2 years or I’d get sick again.

Parent Fails happen.

In the moment, Parent Fails are not always funny, and we are traumatised for a long time (I was too scared to see a hairdresser til I was in my twenties and I am still really careful with chicken).  However, some make nuggets of gold for their 18th birthday party and beyond. Like the times you find your kids eating dog food, cockroaches, or their own bodily fluids.

As much as I hate failing, I do wonder what parent fails I have done that will potentially scar my kids into adulthood! Probably the forgotten Kindy performance, fractured arms, and the time I said licking a 9-volt battery is fun. But hey, we can’t be perfect parents, or we wouldn’t have any funny stories, right?

And if we really think about it, I am sure our kids have had many kid fails that have made us look bad too. Like the time they pee down the slippery slide at Bunnings or take Panadol to daycare to hand out…. Kids sure have a fine way of helping us with our Parent Fails.

If you are beating yourself up right now because of a Parent Fail, stop. We all have them, and it’s what makes the parenthood journey the rollercoaster it is.

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