The Thing Is…#17

I couldn’t wait for my babies to say their first word, and after many “mum, mum, mum” training sessions, they both said “mum”, before they said “dadda”, and I was stoked. But this soon turned to despair when I realised that this progressed to them being trained to call out “mum” in the middle of the night, “mum” whenever they hurt themselves and “mum” if they wanted something. “Mum” if they just couldn’t see me anymore. Every day it’s “mum, mum, mum.”

The thing is, I think us mums do this to ourselves. We try to be super mum and fulfil every want and need as soon as our family demands it. It is exhausting.

Why does everyone need mum especially when she is on the toilet, on the phone, in the shower, talking to a friend, cooking, getting dressed, putting makeup on, having a nap, reading something or having some me time just sitting down?

Why does no one need mum when she is cleaning? Seriously! Why doesn’t anyone interrupt me whilst cleaning?

Whilst I am at it, why can’t anyone put their ‘stuff’ where it belongs? Why do shoes go next to the shoe rack, clothes next to the laundry basket or next to their draw, dirty plates next to the sink or toys next to the toy box?

And lastly, why can’t anyone find their ‘stuff’? Why do mums have to be part detective, part MacGyver to solve problems like the missing sports shirt that has disappeared into the Bermuda Triangle of kids’ crap? Now you now have to MacGyver it and create a new red shirt and put the number on using a black marker to make it in time to play soccer.

Why? Why? Why? Why are our families trained by us to rely on mum for so much?

Are our children secretly trying to drive us insane so that we call them the wrong name, put our keys in the fridge, and tell them to feed the dog to the sausage? Stuff, our mothers, did to us as children that we swore we would never do as a mum? I think so. I don’t want to scare you, but I think there is a conspiracy amongst children all over the globe since the beginning of time to drive their mother’s crazy. There is only one thing we can do about it … Drive them crazy back.

My vow is that I will continue to hide vegetables in their food badly, dish up foods they hate because they are good for them, give them kisses at the school gate, tell embarrassing stories from their childhood, nag them until they hear my voice in their head before they do the wrong thing, mimic them when they are behaving like two-year-olds, and tell them they can’t do things because it’s bad for them like drink soft drink or play on their devices for more than an hour even though their friends at school can.

But most of all, I will tell them how much I love them every single day and that I am so blessed to be their mumma. That being their mum is my best job in the whole world, and that even though they drive me insane, and that I have no personal space when they’re around, I love them dearly, and they are the thing I am proudest of in my life.

Happy Mother’s Day ladies! My wish for all mums on our special day is that we get to pee in peace.


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